Your Own Pace...

“If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

"Just Don't Be You"

“A person who feels more deeply, sees more clearly, or has a voice that cannot be used in daily discourse is destined always to feel alone. It is simply part of the inheritance of those who spend time in places where others do not tread. Your task in life is, and forever will be, to find a way to make that place of loneliness into a place of refuge and solitude, not a place of terror and isolation.” – Kent Nerburn, PhD

Kent is one of my favorite authors. Although we have fundamental differences in our core spiritual beliefs, his writing inspires me to be more at peace with the way God designed my mind to process life.

For some, seeing and experiencing things so intensely can feel like a curse at times. I am reminded of Melvin, the gifted, OCD novelist in "As Good As It Gets." He goes to see his love, Carol. When she opens the door and sees him she sighs and says, "come on in and try not to ruin everything by being you." I understood why she said that, given his obvious lack of social skills, but what a slam. It's no wonder that he lived in isolation most of the time.

I can relate to some degree as I have inherited an overexcitable mind. One that overthinks, overfeels and overreacts. Rather than face the criticism, sometimes it's just easier to be alone with my thoughts. Then I don't have to work so hard at silencing them in order to avoid irritating, offending or overwhelming someone. I used to think that being alone was, well, lonely. I confused solitude with isolation. But lately I'm finding some refuge in spending time alone with my ponderings.

It just feels safer.

I think we must stop expecting one another to tread in places intellectually that we were never designed to go. The bell curve demonstrates to us that God did not create us all to think the same way. Someone with an IQ of, say, 70 is mentally retarded to the general population with an average IQ of 100-110, as the average is retarded to the gifted (130-150), as the gifted is retarded to the genius of 150+. Simply put, we are all mentally challenging to someone and that's a fact we simply can not ever change so we need to try and find a way to get along with, accept and even respect our differences.

Until then, let's stop hurting each other and refuse to slam the door in the face of those who process life differently than ourselves on either side of the bell curve; or even worse - telling them they can come on in, provided they make sure not to ruin everything by being who they really are.